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a-tee-qah . 9th May .
Bipolar . Ailurophobic . Agliophobic .
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hello people (:
it has been a long time since i blogged eh?
today got free time. why? because im bloody sick and i didnt attend school.. i hate being sick.
my head feels heavy. my bones hurt. feels as if they're breaking everytime i move. i hatehate being sick okay! haish!

one more thing i hate. depending on someone to get things done. i hate doing that . makes me feel weak and useless. haish. like menyusahkan orang je !

ahhhhhhhhhhh! i mustmust get well soon! back to top?

prelims are coming. concentrating on studies. blog will be dead. only will update if im free (:

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check out my new babies (: heehee!! my lovely new pink high-cuts☺
anyway, had a great night out yesterday . morning, head to madrasah. apparently i aces all my subjects including arab and tajwid . wow. so, went out aft that. went to Kallang Leisure Park for study session. went to Coffee bean . i had my hot chocolate with marshmellows. dayana had caramel macchiato. we chilled and did some work. SOME. haahaa! aft that, we took Circle line to i forgot where actually. walked at suntec. Marina Bay. then decided to have dinner at Makansutra . wow! we had a spread okay! look at pictures (:



okayy (: so let the pictures explain more (: i love my shoes :) back to top?

i finally found it :D its not in love okay... aahaa :D
its in .....

the 4D get together was a success :D great great big cloudy grey clouds being cleared. im a happy kid! now im thinking if i should re-activate Facebook (: maybe i should yknow (:

4 delanos, i know you can do it (: i love you all!

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that shall be the words now. EPIC FAILURE. i totally screw up malay oral. haish. i broke down in class afterwards. thank god theres only fan, si yi , wan yin , JX and mr L. if not ... tsktsktsk ... very embarrasing.

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You will know that you love someone
when you want him/her to be happy.
Even if that means you're not a part of their happiness.

had a fun time studying with dayana at starbucks jurong point . had lunch / dinner with her at Fig & Olive. (:

super nice okay! (: anyway, today got many laughter:D since when there wasnt laughter right?

p.s. i have deactivated Facebook.

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You sit here and wish for that one person - be careful when
you wish for it... because the one person may come along and you realized you
made that wish at the wrong time.

ya, thats the exact thing. wah , inside bus, my heart break into a millllion pieces. dayana knows . the song she let me listened to was like the perfect song to describe that moment.

kaykay, imagine u had this fucking long crush on someone for a very long time. when i say long, i really meant it okay. let say years. yeap, years.

so when youu finally meet him, hes with someone . standing infront of you. and the girl, well, is from your school and you dont have the slightest fucking idea. wow. can hear that? thats my heart breaking again.

saw him before he board the bus. i was like :O than i nudge yana beside me. i very happy lehhhhhh! da smile like very wide!!!!!!!!!!!!! than i realise the girl behind him was with him :/ wah, i never look anymore. skali bus full. he had to move behind with that girl. and he stood infront of me [infront beside] yeahhh... yana waved. yana said he smiled. he looked at me, i never did once looked up. dont dare liao. later i break down there and then lagi susah kan? yaa, so he looked at me expecting for a wave or smile? but sorry dude, you just broke my heart.

all along the bus ride to Yew Tee point i give yana a pathetic sad face. haish. very sad leh. so yeah, thats like one of the hell bus rides ive ever had.

Hello boy it's been a while
Guess
you'll be glad to know
That I've learned how to laugh and smile
Getting
over you was slow
They say old lovers can be good friends
But I never
thought I'd really see you
I'd really see you again

I go crazy
When I look in your eyes
I still go crazy
No my heart just can't
hide that old feeling inside
Way deep down inside
Oh baby you know when
I look in your eyes
I go crazy

You say she satisfies your mind
Tells you all of her dreams
I know how much that means to you
I
realize that I was blind
Just when I thought I was over you
I see your
face and it just ain't true
No it just ain't true

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im ditching the 30 day letter thing. moodless. back to top?

okay. here . this is today. ah! maddafucka! im pissed -'-

whatever ah eh!

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30 Day Letter Challenge Day Seven. Your Ex-Boyfriend/Girlfriend/Love/Crush.

Dear Ex-Crush,

I want to be so over thinking about you. But when you show up I can feel my heart flutter a little. maybe break into a million. It's doing it less though, which I'm glad of. And, most honestly, if you are into her just ask her out already. Don't be stupid and shy and whatnot. Because the worst thing that will happen is rejection. Hm isn't that the truth. Then you move on. If you ever had asked me out after what happened I can say with confidence that I probably would have said no.i'l try. my hardest. Everything in my body would have conflicting feelings about it and I, while probably regretting not, would be much happier not worrying about you and a relationship the way my life has played out up until now. I have to say that the other week when I was looking at a friend who was near where you were standing and caught your eye was pretty awkward. But I wasn't looking at you.

Next time I see you I'll be over you. ill be trying a little harder.

*i'll try* back to top?

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30 Day Letter Challenge Day Six. Stranger.

Dear Stranger,


Like any safety-conscious parent would tell their kid, I was told not to talk to you. However, I've grown up and explored the world and I have to talk to strangers. So I want to tell you, stranger, is that you are not alone even when you think you might be. Someone right now is thinking about you. It could be a kid that was in your class but that person is wondering what happened to these people and what became of them. Someone out there is willing to love you too. strangers > aquantaince > friends > sweetheart. see the link? You are always loved no matter what you may tell yourself. I am telling you now: You are loved. The hard times may come at you full force but after the storm there is always sun and rainbows :D . Maybe it doesn't feel like that now, and maybe you have never known anything but storms in your life. But maybe you just need to step out of your routine: Drive a different way home, take joyrides, ride a bike instead, work up the guts to talk (because the worst that could happen means that person didn't want to know the beautiful person that is you. You don't deserve that), learn an instrument, save the world maybe. Try to do something different once a day. It can be the smallest change (try a different food you've never had) to a huge new extreme that you never would have thought to do (parkour or bang yourself into walls). Try it and see how your life brightens up and opens new possibilities for you.

*ready , set , go* back to top?

30 Day Letter Challenge Day Five. Your Dreams.

Dear Dreams,

You are something I love to hate. A sweet escape. A drowning place. In my subconscious you make me remember what has happened through the day or that I am stressing over. Not cool. Though I will give you credit for giving me a good story idea. But at the same time I'd almost rather not remembering my dreams like I use to do. They were just dreams that stayed forgotten because they don't matter. So next time I fall into sleep please don't taunt me. eventhough, i dont remember you most of the time. nightmares better stay away. as far as possible cause ive been having those lately Thanks.

*counting turtles* back to top?

30 day challenge. day four (:

Dear closest relative,

I don't know what to say to you because I see you everyday and tell you a lot of things. But I don't always tell you everything. You are one of my closest friends and probably will be until we die. You make me laugh and cry and want to die. You think I laugh at you all the time. And you're right; I do. But I'm not laughing because you are ugly or whatever it is you think. I'm laughing because you did whatever it is you do to make me laugh. we share secrets like no one does. we have each others back when our mothers asks either one of us about having boyfriends or what(:maybe thats all (:

bye cuzzo :D back to top?