everything had happened. i dont know what else to say. i have never been this embarrassed my whole life. :( only God knows how hurt i am. have i ever done that to you in public? you havent yet answered me that question. my life is a spiral downfall. depression might be the word. suicidal thoughts once a while when im alone. but i know that isnt the answer. i have to be Grateful to Him whom have given me this life on Earth. And of course my Parents. it wouldnt be fair for them . they've raised me up. this isnt how i must repay them. maybe meeting him is a lesson for me to learn. i dont know how i feel . i hate him , but that wouldnt make things better right? so whats the point? if i were to hold this grudge, i'd hold it for life.

life is such a complicated thing isnt it? i dont blame him that he regrets being with me. maybe its a mistake. i should have stayed away. and yes, i know he said that he should have gone with 'the other girl' . he's right. he should have. on the other hand, im happy that he realise that.

Good luck with her. i wish you all the best :) Make her happy. Treat her with proper care. be a gentleman towards her .

However, life for me isnt all a pessimist side. i've met a boy. yeap, who has let out all his feelings for me. throughout all those days which ive been hating him, he loved me from afar. maybe the old folks were right. 'You'll love he one you hate' it proves it in my situation. i love him :D he has been there for me. protecting and caring me :) insyaallah i can be there for you too . i love you Hero !

"Allah , i want to thank you. i wanna thank you for pulling right back to the path which led me back to you. Thank you for everything that you've done for all those times which i had been lost. Alhamdullilah"